Billy Oppa, the birthday (ba)boy

Our Billy Oppa. Also known as the biggest Sakayer-fag. He is the gayest gay that ever gayed. No, wait that’s someone else…(hello? Naoto?)

Actually Billy is neither gay nor straight. He is sexless and pure. Pure 100% unsaturated fat. Haha! He is sooo damn fat, he has a size 40-something waist and stretch marks on his belly.

He is weird in a very Sakayer way. I can’t even begin to describe him. He speaks four languages fluently, plus he can fake another 10 (Korean included heehee). Mai mai mai mai… is supposed to be Thai. He shops ’til he drops; he worships brand names; he eats three-four servings of everything. And he can make the craziest funny song parodies. If you love me, then you give me a chicken for my grandson… Well, we think it’s funny.

When we were in Korea, Billy made up a mean rumor about a Chinese classmate. He told everyone that he has Hepatitis-B. Within weeks, the poor guy became an outcast. He was also the first to call me all those nasty nicknames that stuck. He even invented “Roro” the present nickname of Inero.

Billy loves random cheezmax and controversial gossips. He knows all showbiz rumors in Hollywood, Pinoy, Chinese, Taiwanese, Hong Kong, and Korea. He was our source for dormitory dirt-news all year. He also brainwashed us into thinking that Codename-TJ and Codename-AT are having an affair. Ooops.

He likes to promote and demote Sakayers. This past year only, he promoted himself twice. First, as Sakayer Superhero, then now into Sakayer Regulatorer– whatever that is. He demoted me lots of times because I am being impersonated. That, to him, was an insult to my Sakayer-ness. Billy loves to preserve the Sakayer in each of us.

Billy is the friend I love to hate. He calls during the most ungodly hours and talks about his feelings. A lot of times he calls for no reason at all. Much as I hate yakety-yakyaking with him on the phone, it seems unavoidable.

And he is probably the most narcissistic person for all time. He thinks everyone is interested in him. He thinks he can charm every girl (and guy) in town. He is delusional, hence, his favorite word: Deluded.

And every time I post something in my blog, he thinks that somehow, some way, it is about him. But this time, he is actually right.

Advanced Happy Birthday Billy Oppa. Sheng ri kuai le.

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